Ah, all the thoughts and all the feels. It has taken me a long time to sit down to put into words the magic of the second half of my epic trip. I’m still not sure exactly what to say or what to put here, but I feel compelled to chronicle it in some way, so I will have a go.
After happily leaving Florida, I flew to San Diego to begin a road trip up the West Coast. This was a trip that would interweave with two of my best friends in the whole world, as they Davemooned (that’s a honeymoon that entails a series of Dave Matthews Shows if you have never heard the term) up the West Coast. I happily was dubbed the “official third wheel.”
There’s so much backstory and explanation needed here, I know it will never be enough, but I will attempt to put relationships in context. When I was an undergraduate at Virginia Tech, I was in a co-ed honor fraternity and Sam is my grand little, so my little brother’s, little. We laugh because while we both love my little/his big, Sam and I are much more alike and keep more in touch. Sam and I didn’t know each other much at Virginia Tech, but even despite distance and time, he’s become one of my most favorite people in the whole world. Our relationship has always been strengthened by the fact that we share a mutual best friend, my dear friend Taj, who was one of my best friends when I was in school, and then after I graduated, one of Sam’s best friends. In the years after college, Taj had moved out to Washington State and Sam and Taj would always go see Dave Matthews at the Gorge Amphitheater every labor day weekend. I believe they had gone for almost 12 years straight. Living in Hawaii, being broke and having coral spawning lining up with labor day weekend somehow without fail pretty much every single year, I would get a text or phone call that weekend from them telling me how much they wished I was there with them, but I had never been able to go. Strange circumstances twisted life around so that Taj is no longer able to go to the Gorge each year (maybe explanation in another post, another time), and when that happened he told Sam that his ticket could only belong to me and I had to start going with Sam. So, for the past few years (I missed one, sadly, for coral), we have gotten together Labor Dave Weekend at the Gorge to celebrate life and friendship and listen to the best band in the whole world.
This year was extra special, though, as the first year I went to the Gorge with Sam we also had another friend, Trish, join us. She was another fraternity brother from Virginia Tech who was living in Seattle at that time. That weekend solidified their friendship, that then turned into something much much more. About a month before this epic trip, Sam and Trish were married with a small ceremony with family in Virginia. When Sam proposed, he had a cover band play the Dave song “I’ll Back You Up” and then when she said yes, they followed up with “You and Me”. Sam’s sister makes amazing Burner-style festival clothing, and made Trish’s wedding dress with a surprise of the words to those songs being etched in gold foil inside the tulle of her skirt. She also had scarves with the song lyrics etched on them made for a few of their closests friends, myself included. Sam and Trish decided to have a friends’ reception about a month after their ceremony on a beach in Malibu as part of their Davemoon, and so that is what prompted my road trip leading up to our normal annual Gorge gathering. Sam and Trish have a special, messy, wonderful, magical love that I am honored to have witnessed and been a part of over the years, and so I was super-excited to join them on this journey.
There’s still so much more to say about everything leading up to the trip, but for now, back to the actual trip…
As I set out to plan this trip, I was really thinking about Sam and Trish and about Dave Matthews and in my mind, that was the focus of the trip and it was already going to be amazing, but I ended up getting to see so many other dear friends along the way, the whole thing ended up being so much more magical than I could have even imagined.
When I landed in San Diego on Friday, I rented a car and drove to my friend Steve’s condo. Steve is another one of my favorite humans in the whole world. He was the first dj to hit me up over 11 years ago and ask to come play Subphonix (my drum and bass monthly that I ran in Hawaii for 10 years). He and I both have been through a lot in the last few years with relationships shifting and we have been there for each other. It was so great to see his home that he owns and he and his new girlfriend took me out for real Mexican food immediately, which was amazing. There’s a serious lack of proper Mexican food in Hawaii, but that’s an aside.
Just being in San Diego was wonderful. I spent every summer of my childhood there, and it is one of my favorite places in the whole world. I used to say it was the only place on the mainland I could see myself living. When I was a kid, I was determined to live there, and in fact, when I decided to move to Hawaii, the first thing my Mom said was “that’s further than San Diego.” It felt like seeing that person when you were a kid who maybe you had an agreement with that when you grew up you were going to get married, but then life happened and that didn’t happen and then suddenly there they were. I miss San Diego. It is such a wonderful city.
After the excellent Mexican food, I left Steve to meet up with Sam and Trish for the first time on the trip. They were staying at another brother of ours place and I was supposed to meet them there at 5:30, so that we could go to our first Dave Matthews Band show of the trip. Some other brothers from Tech were there too, getting ready to go up for the reception in Malibu the next day and the plan had been that a bunch of us, maybe 8 or so were supposed to go to the Dave show. However, when I got there, Sam came outside to greet me all upset. He said his new wife already hated him and that maybe just he and I should go to the show. See, while Sam is a rocket scientist, Trish is a PhD in psychology and I’m a cutting edge cryo-biologist, when we are not doing those very serious things that we do, we really like to party. Interpret that as you will for the remainder of your reading. We all let loose in different ways, and for whatever reason, I tend to remain the font of reason in all doings and we usually have a ton of fun. In this case, I entered into a situation in which an extensive amount of day-drinking had commenced early, unbeknownst to me and there was debate happening about whether Trish was in a state to go with us to the show. There was much talking, debating, arguing even, about what needed to happen before the reception the next day. I was honestly a little worried, wondering if this was how our semi-together trip up the West Coast was going to start and how the rest was going to go. In the end though, what magically happened was this: Sam and I decided for just the three of us, he and I and Trish to go to the show. The debating about Trish’s state of mind and what needed to get done delayed our drive to the show such that we missed another concert-goer’s car wreck into a telephone pole, and missed the traffic caused by that wreck. Dave was notified of the accident and delayed the start of the concert, and with our delay happening as well, we drove straight to the show with no traffic, the parking lot was so full they directed us into some sort of premiere upfront parking right at the venue and we walked straight into the show, up the stairs to the lawn to an open space just behind those stairs which ensured that nobody was in front of my short self the whole show and the second our booties hit the ground the first few notes of One Sweet World rang out and all was well in the world.
Of course, we still lost Trish at the end of the night, prompting me to realize that I hadn’t partied with Sam and Trish outside of the magical setting of the Gorge really ever. When we are there, if they get lost or are being slow there’s only camp and the show, so they can either find their way to one or the other depending on the time of the weekend and all is well. Loosing Trish in San Diego was a bit different and gave me a slight heart attack, but we got it all sorted out in the end.
I made it back to Steve’s to hang out a bit that night and even got to see my friend Nik, another amazing drum and bass dj, and then got up the next morning, had a nice acai bowl with Steve and his girl and headed up to Malibu.
Traffic on the way to LA was crazy, as it tends to be, and I headed out to the coast at Santa Monica and took the 1 up from there. I would have liked to take the coast highway all the way from San Diego, but it is longer and I had done that stretch many times as a kid. Still, the part between Santa Monica and Malibu was lovely and I got there at just the right time. All the stresses with friends from the day before were gone and everything was lovely. I got to see many old friends from college that I wasn’t even counting on seeing on this trip. Sam married a German couple on the beach, beacause that’s the kind of thing that Sam and Trish inspire (long story for another day) and then we troasted the happy couple…Sam and Trish, not the Germans, we didn’t know the Germans well enough. Troasting, if you are not aware, is toasting and roasting, so while we poked fun, we also shared love. Libations abounded, stories were shared and happiness reverberated through the hills of Malibu.
The next day, I parted ways from Sam and Trish again and drove myself up the coast highway to Monterey to see my dear friend Meredith and her beautiful family. Meredith bounded in, rather gazelle-like, to one of my yoga classes about a year and a half ago, and at the end of the class, she declared that we would be friends and that was that. She is awesome and amazing, and I am so glad she delclared as such. Fun to bounce between very old friends and new friends on my journey. I had never driven the coast from LA to San Fran, so I was excited to do it.
I always heard the coast above LA was beautiful, but I feel now that anybody I had ever known who had been there failed to adequately express to me how gorgeous it really is. It was absolutely stunning. Not sure that words can adequately describe it. I drove through Big Sur and I have never seen anything quite like that. So much raw beauty. I was on a tight timeline, so I didn’t stop much or take many pictures, but the scenes there that I drove through are now etched in my mind will live there forever.
I made it to Monterey mid-afternooon and got to Meredith’s house and was greeted by her, and her husband Ian and her daughter Miranda. When Miranda saw me, Mer said “Look who’s here, it’s Auntie Gin”, since I hadn’t seen them in months and never in California, but Miranda sweetly didn’t miss a beat and just grabbed my hand to take me in the house and show me things as if me being there was nothing out of the ordinary. It felt so good to be there in their home. They let me shower (we had been camping in Malibu, so I needed it), and we had some wine and great food. Ian graciously sat through me catching Mer up on adventures and misadventures in my love life. I got to meet their new baby Finn and hear of the scary time that Mer had after she brought him into this world. There were tales of a potty trained girl making puddles in her play room and said girl changed outfits about 5 times while I was there before finally settling on a patriotic tutu and a leopard print top as was appropriate, of course. Mer cooked some amazing food and I headed out to Berkeley before sunset, but not before taking myself down into Monterrey to see cannery row and the aquarium, just from the outside, but still, it was magical to be down there in a place I had only heard and read about before.
Berkeley was the next stop on my trip and I was excited to see my friend Dave (not the Dave we were all headed to see, but an equally awesome Dave). Dave was one of my yoga students for quite some time before we put together the pieces that we both might be into similar things, prompted by him missing class for a few weeks one year to go to Burning Man. He ended up helping me through understanding some psychiatric stuff (he is a phychiatrist) dealing with my ex-boyfriend’s sister and I have been forever grateful. In all actuality, though, he moved to Berkeley shortly after we started hanging out outside of my yoga classes and, despite some of the best phone conversations ever, I had been wanting to see him in person ever since.
It was great to see Dave and I was so happy that he let me stay with him for a few days. Sam and Trish flew up to meet us and stayed a night as well. We all went to see Dave and the full band play at the Greek Theatre on UC Berkeley’s campus. I used to see Dave a couple times every year, but then I went almost 10 years with seeing him only once with his guitarist, Tim Reynolds one year for Kokua Festival, a charity driven concert that Jack Johnson used to put on here in Hawaii. In any case, the only place I’ve seen Dave and the band in recent years has been the Gorge, this epic amphitheatre a few hours outside of Seattle. It holds at least 20,000 people, so to say I hadn’t seen Dave at a small venue in a long time, is an understatement. The Greek felt like it held only about 1000 people, though I know it held much more than that. Still tho, it was so intimate. We sat at the top on the small quite vertical lawn, but even there, the projection screens weren’t even necessary.
That night, the sunset was one of the most amazing I had ever seen. The sun set over the skyline of San Fransisco, with the sunlight reflecting off the buildings in the distance. I had never seen anything like it. Long after the sun set, a butterfly, not a moth, an actual butterfly, came down and circled Sam’s head and then circled my head and then flew away, long after his butterfly bedtime had past. That wouldn’t be that remarkable, except that our friend Taj, who you may remember from paragraphs above, who was unable to be there with us doing to circumstances that may be explained here in a later date, has a thing with butterflies. In fact, he has one tattooed on his shoulder, and so, whenever I see a butterfly or whenever Sam sees a butterfly, we think of Taj. So, for this one to come at this moment, in the dark, at a moment when butterflies usually don’t exist, was really special. The show was magical, of course, but made extra special by the fact that I knew I got to do it all again the next night. Sam and Trish headed out to the redwoods, but Dave and I had another night of Dave and the Band in that same sweet little venue.
I had a nice few days with Dave in Berkley and San Francisco. We went into the city and walked along the water and explored a store full of the most amazing puppets ever. I even got a harbor seal and named it Tinsley (after Dave Matthew’s violinist who may play a larger role later in this little adventure). We had soup in sourdough bread bowls and it was so amazingly yummy. I forgot to mention in the first half of this story, I had been gluten-free for about 3 years due to a weird nerve problem I had, but had broken my gluten fast with the sandwiches in Fort Pierce. I had always read that sourdough might not be as irritating to people with gluten issues and so I tried it with success. Needless to say though, the sourdough in SF was above and beyond any I had ever had and with sourdough being my favorite kind of bread, that’s saying a lot. Great chats with Dave and lots of fun were had.
Also, during this stop in Berkeley, I was able to stop by for a brief visit with my friend Teresa and her husband Ben. Teresa was a fire spinner when I started DJ’ing in Hawaii. She’s an amazing soul and beautiful healer as one of the best massage therapists I know. She’s been living in Oakland for the last few years with her son from a previous relationship and her husband, both of whom are quite wonderful. I was happy to see her and get caught up. She was expecting a daughter at the time and just radiant in her pregnancy.
After seeing them, I walked myself over to VW of Oakland and got a brand new GTI. Whoa, you are probably thinking, but let me explain. I had been driving a 1997 hatchback BMW 318ti for the past few years and I had just loved it. It was however, falling apart and had died back at the beginning of the summer. I was selling a property to fund my upcoing career shift and my boss had convinced me that getting a new car with a warranty so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it for a long time was a good idea starting my own business. I had always wanted a GTI and went to look for one here on Oahu. I found one I liked, my requirements being that it was blue, stick shift and had cloth seats. The one I liked here though was sold before I could buy it and both VW dealers here on Oahu told me they couldn’t get the car I wanted for me here. I started contacting dealers on the mainland to see if they could ship one to me and this wonderful guy named Omar in Oakland was able to get me the car I wnated. He was going to ship it to me here, but I realized it would arrive when I was on my trip and I asked him to ship it later so I wouldn’t have to pay port fees to hold it til I got home. He told me I could pick it up myself and take it on my road trip and then ship it myself if I wanted to and I thought that sounded like an amazing idea. So, I picked it up in Oakland, all shiny and new and was able to drive it the rest of the trip. A blue car with some red trim highlights, I named her Red and she was a great travel companion.
Red and I left Berkeley on Wednesday August 31st and drove up to Bend, Oregon to see two of my other good music-related friends, Auren and Lauren. Auren was Steve’s (from San Diego, above) best friend back when Steve first came to play for me out here, and Auren became one of the next DJ’s to come play for me. When he was coming out, he had planned to stay with me and my partner at the time and a week or two before he came we were talking online and he said “would it be ok if I bring this girl with me” and I said “this girl? You mean your girlfreind?” Two which he replied “well, she’s not my girlfriend yet, but I hope she will be. She’s my friend and the best girl in the whole entire world. I hope she’ll be my girlfriend by the time I come out there and if that works out, I want to invite her to come with me.” I thought that was so sweet and so there was no way I could tell him no. It all worked out and she did, indeed become his girlfriend and would go on to become his wife. He even proposed at one of my shows a few years later, but that’s definitely a long story for another time.
It was great to see Auren and Lauren. They truly are two of my best friends and we fell right into the comfort of our decade long friendship. We chatted well into the night and then continued the next day. They had recently moved from LA to Bend, having grown tired of the city and feeling like they would never have land for their pups and room to breathe. Without them telling me explicitly, which they totally did also, I could instantly see how happy they were and how their move was a great decision for them. Seeing their nice 2.5 acre property in La Pine just south of Bend and the joy on their dogs faces as they bounded about has really made me think a lot about what I want in the future, but again, discussions for future times. We had a delectable meal and some creative but excellent drinks at a restaurant in Bend. Just driving through Bend, I fell in love with the place and I hope to spend more time there in the future. I headed out late afternoon after a short stop at REI, where I got Sam and Trish their wedding prestent (I waited to ask them what they were still missing to get them something) and my first hydroflask, on my way to the Gorge finally.
I was only planning a Part 1 and a Part 2, but seeing the length of Part 2, let’s have a Part 3… 😉
Aloha and Namaste…
-Gin
