I Did Not March

I did not march
But I stand with all who did
I wanted to go
I thought I should go
But I did not march

I did not march
I needed to be alone
I sat at home for a long time
And I cried
Big sloppy wet tears

I did not march
But I saw pictures of my friends marching all over the world
And I was proud
And I was grateful
I was happy that so many people stood together and said
This is not ok
We will be heard

I did not march
But I was moved by speeches and words from so many
I loved that Madonna offered that this was not the end
But our beginning
I loved too that she dropped the f’bomb
It has become time for the f’bomb

I did not march
I watched Ashley Judd reading
The amazing words of Nina Donovan
And I cried some more
Because I fear it is time we all may have to become
Nasty women
And that saddens me

I did not march
I snuggled my puppy
And thought how nice, if everything could be right in the world
From just a belly scratch
And I listened to my kitten purr
And was comforted for a moment

I did not march
I sat in meditation for a long time
Feeling the energy of Shakti sweetly breathing me
Then feeling that energy as Kali in the women all over the world
Wild and fierce
And ready to bring the establishment crumbling down
Then the same Kali, soft and sweet
The mother, ready to birth the world anew
And I thought
How daunting destruction and creation seem looming before us

I did not march
But as I sat, I felt too
The energy of Shiva, the masculine
Strong and still
The masculine that marched with the women
The masculine that stayed home to watch the children
The masculine that loves the feminine
The masculine that supports the feminine fully

I did not march
But in the end, I left my house
To have dinner with one of the best men I know
A man who would never grab a woman by her anything
Unless maybe to give a welcomed hug
A man who would never judge anyone based on their race
Because at least 3 races were represented there in him
A man who is as appalled as I am about the state of our world
We shared some comfort and even a little laughter
And I felt a tiny tiny bit better

I did not march
But I sat and thought long and hard
About how we got to this place
About how we elevated such an awful human being to our highest position
And I know you may say “we” didn’t do that
But really, we did
How did we come to a place where, even if we did not personally cast those votes,
We are so divided, uneducated, misinformed and fearful, that people thought they should
And did

I did not march
But I became stronger in my convictions
That I need to teach more yoga
That I need to share more of my thoughts
That I need to reach more people
And this is part of that
There will be more